Nearly Famous

Violent Arrest Sparks Race Row Fury

I walk past Niche nightclub almost everyday on my way to and from work. I've passed it when it's been open and closed, had guarded BMWs outside it, had wreaths hanging for the two managers killed on duty, had the doors open with jungle pounding out and when it's been courdned off with police tape. I think I might have even played there once.

I know nothing about what happened the night of the violent race row fury, but if that place gets shut down again I'll be a really happy man.

Emo Threatens Nations Youth!

Straight from the Suicide Girls Newswire:

"According to a local news report in Grand Forks, North Dakota, "emo" is the next youth movement to corrupt the sensibilities of American teenagers, replacing goth culture as the number one enemy of parents everywhere. Yes, that's right; My Chemical Romance is just as, if not more dangerous than Elvis shaking his hips on television, violent movies and even Marilyn Manson.

The story focuses on the 'cutting' phenomenon, but links all manner of dangerous anti-social behavior to wearing tight clothing, hanging out in your bedroom and making mixtapes. Best of all, humorous sites like the Insta-Emo Kit are taken seriously and local youth are interviewed, revealing that teenage angst is shockingly alive and well. What would Kurt Cobain think???

Don't worry, though; the town sheriff knows what's happening and is on the case investigating the infamous "emo scale," which kids everywhere use to evaluate each other's emo-ness; the reporter points out that if you've attempted suicide, you "hit the jackpot." It's times like these that The Onion appears to be a viable news source. Enjoy."